Break a Sweat With the Quals?
It's tough to choose a time to write a blog about qualifying exams (aka "comps" or "quals") since every school has a different schedule. Some departments have one big exam, other have several spaced throughout the first or second year. My qualifying exam was in January, so I started to get a little worried just around this time of the year. My department had two exams within one week, so I studied during every free minute I had during the prior two months. About two weeks before my exam, I had lunch with a friend of mine names Stella (not her real name). Stella was in a different department, but I knew her well and had lunch with her on most days. Stella was a wonderful listener. She nodded with empathy as I recounted my struggles with the qualifying exams, and how I would be dreading the next two weeks. At the end of the lunch I asked whether we could eat together the next day. She replied:" No, I cannot meet you for lunch tomorrow, because I'll have my qualifying exam then."
After a moment of silence I stuttered: "Your exam is tomorrow? And you didn't tell me?" She smiled and said: "It's really no big deal. I just studied for it a little everyday, so that's the best I can do right?"
Stella's department had a reputation for having very challenging qualifying exams, but she passed on her first try without worrying. What a different way of looking at the same situation. I passed too, but broke quite a sweat.
Stella was just one of those people who stayed calm despite her demanding workload, and she always made time for exercising and her personal life as well. Was she a genius who was able to enjoy life and still do well academically? She might have been, I don't know her IQ, but I do know that she did spend a lot of time studying for exams, and working in the lab like the rest of us.
Ever since that day, I look at big assignments differently. If a big presentation comes my way, I try to put on Stella's relaxed attitude and look at the presentation as an opportunity to learn rather than a burden. I exercise regularly, because I know in the long run it will help me more efficient, even if it does take up an hour now and then. And finally, I make time to have lunch with friends. Besides taking my mind off work, lunch gives me the opportunity to have personal interactions (with inspiring people like Stella), and to build my support network. Having a few supportive and inspiring friends in graduate school can go a long way to help you stay motivated.
Wishing you the best,
Dora Farkas, PhD, Founder, PhDNet
Author: "The Smart Way To Your PhD:200 Secrets From 100 Graduates."
Now Available in Kindle and Softcover!
Can you have kids in graduate school?
This is a question that many married graduate students contemplate. Is it better to get the kids "over with" while you have a flexible schedule, or is it more strategic to wait until you have a job and a real salary?
The decision to have a child at any time, whether you are in grad school or not, is one that needs to be considered very carefully. The tough part about having a baby in graduate school is that you cannot just quit your job if life gets tough. You need to work hard until you get your diploma, which is tough even when you do not have children. At the same time, many graduate students have flexible schedules, so they are able to fit their work around their children's needs. While contemplating your decision, remember that a baby needs care 24/7, around the clock and every day. Therefore, there are two very important things you will need: 1) money and 2) support.
You will need a lot of money to pay for childcare. In some parts of the country, the cost of daycare is the same or even more than a graduate student stipend. Depending on your household income, you need to decide whether your finances allow you to send your baby to a daycare. Take into consideration all the other costs such as diapers, formula, baby food, baby clothes, medical bills, etc. You can probably get an estimate of these costs from a local parenting group. If you can afford to have a baby, then you passed the first part of the test.
The second part, which might be even more challenging, is finding support. Graduate school is rarely a 9-5 job, so even if you have a full-time daycare, you will still need help on weekends, evenings, and when your baby gets sick. Here are some suggestions from other graduate student parents:
-Talk to your husband about how you will share childcare and housework.
- Find out your university's policy on maternity and possibly leave of absence.
- Enlist the help of your family after hours and on weekends (if they live close-by)
-Trade babysitting with other students, taking turns watching each other's kids
- Hire a young teenager (much cheaper than a babysitter) who plays with your baby while you are at home, so you can work or clean the house
- Borrow money from your parents to pay for childcare. Although this might put you in debt, you will probably graduate sooner.
-Daycares fill up fast, so get on all the waitlists as soon as the baby is on the way
-Consider "nannysharing", where one nanny cares for 2-3 kids, making the cost/family reasonable.
- Look at home-based daycares, which are usually cheaper than traditional ones. If you decide to go with option, make sure the home-based daycare is licensed. Sending your child to an unlicensed daycare is illegal in some states.
Before you finalize your family plans, be sure to talk to other students who are parents. While having a baby is a lot of work (and costs a lot of money) parents usually find ways to become more efficient at work and to live on less money. Parents in your area are the best resource, so ask them many questions!
Wishing you the best,
Dora Farkas, PhD, Founder, PhDNet
Author: "The Smart Way To Your PhD:200 Secrets From 100 Graduates."
Now Available in Kindle Edition!
Six Ways To Beat Stress Anytime
Stress is an unavoidable part of life. Yet, you would not want to live completely without it, because then there would be no challenges to help you grow. There are many situations which can cause you stress in graduate school, such as taking/teaching classes, examinations, frustrations with your research, finances, and your personal life. Besides the online resources and books in the next section, here are some proven strategies that you can use instantly to help you manage the stressful situations in your life:
1. Keep a journal & write about your stressful situations
When you write down what is bothering you, it will be easier to figure out solutions to your problems. Writing about your worries will help you pinpoint what exactly you need to do and come up with an action plan.
2. Connect with your support network
Fortunatel, most of the problems that you encounter in graduate school have been solved by someone before you (except for some research-related problems, possibly), so it usually helpful to reach out to professors, other graduate students and possibly counseling deans.
3. Resolve conflicts by talking to people directly
If a personal conflict is the source of your stress, it is best to talk to that person directly. In some cases, it might be helpful to discuss your issues with friends and coworkers beforehand, or whoever you think might be the most helpful. Remember that conflicts are best resolved in person. Email is generally not appropriate for discussing sensitive information, and frequently it can lead to even more misunderstandings.
4. Take regular breaks during work
If you are in the experimental sciences, your experiments might dictate your work and break schedule. On the other hand, if you spend most of your days reading and writing (particularly during the writing of your thesis), it is very tempting to work for several hours straight without taking breaks. It turns out, however, that taking regular breaks during work will help you in several ways. Many students find that alternating 45 minutes of work with 15 minutes of break is a good way to keep their mind fresh and focused throughout the day
5.Exercise and pursue your hobbies
Exercise was one of the top two strategies cited by former students to help them beat stress. One student recalled going swimming after a particularly tough day in the laboratoty (she made a mistake that ruined a week's worth of work), and feeling absolutely refreshed as she came out of the pool. Another student played the trumpet in a jazz band on weekends, which was his way of relaxing as well as connecting with friends.
6. If the stress becomes overwhelming, seek help from a medical professional
Relaxation, exercise and socializing with friends are great ways to overcome stress, but in some situations you might need more help. If your stress becomes too difficult to handle, seek help as soon as possible. Your primary care physician might be able to recommend an appropriate support group or another professional who works closely with graduate students.
Looking for ways to feel more fulfilled and less stressed during graduate school?
If you want to connect with other graduate students, try these discussion boards and stress-relieving resources:
http://chronicle.com/forums/
http://www.studentforumonline.com/
http://www.gradschoolforum.com/
http://www.phinished.org/
http://www.phdnet.org
Wishing you the best,
Dora Farkas, PhD, Founder, PhDNet
Author:"The Smart Way To Your PhD:200 Secrets From 100 Graduates."
Now Available in Kindle Edition!